20 Questions

It feels like I need to answer 20 questions, so here goes!!

1. Did Josh hear from UAMS?

YES! He has the job.

2. When are you moving?

The end of June after kids are out of school.

3. When does he start his job?

JULY, 1st. He finishes this years contract with Riverside until the end of June.

4. What is he doing?

He will be a pathologist.

5. What is that?

A pathologist is the doctor's doctor. The one that identifies under the microscope whatever biopsy or sample was taken.

6. How long is residency?

4 years.

7. Does his time in OH count?

NO, too different.

8. Why did he change?

Lifestyle-and realizing lifestyle wouldn't ever be what he wanted even if he practiced for 40 years!

9. What will he miss about surgery?

His words: Cutting people.

He loved and still does love the procedures. He has done lots of stitching both at the hospital and out of the house. He has assisted in many difficult cases, but on his own at this point has done some gall bladders and other "simple" procedures. He has also ran several codes, put in chest tubes, etc. He could handle being the ER doc for a night.

10. When did he decide?

Uh, his senior year of med skl during his path rotation, again after 6 months into surgery, then again last December, and finally just two weeks ago. AFTER match!

11. Match?

ya know, when residents get jobs. See, interviews for MDs happen in Dec, Jan, Feb, Match Day is in March. Match day is when you are told where you will work, based on your interviews. Josh decided the first week of April, and then this time, went through with it, but it was after match-a very scary time.

12. Why did he wait?

He is a good surgeon. He liked it. (parts of it). It is hard to give up a dream.

13. Isn't pathology boring?

Ya probably to most of us, but Josh loves science. He was a phlebotomist and then worked in the lab at the hospital during undergrad. I have no trouble seeing him in this setting.

14. Will you buy a house?

Yes, we plan to buy.

15. Where?

somewhere with a good elementary school and a good price.

16. When?

Probably in June, but even July is possible. We can stay with Josh's folks until we close.

17. How scared were you?

VERY. He decided to quit before we knew UAMS had a position. When they didn't offer him the job immediatley, I went through every (184) programs in the country looking for pathology jobs. Finding none.

18. How scared were you?

Not that scared. We prayed and felt at peace that things would work out.

19. What will you miss about Columbus?

shopping, things to do, people, summer weather

20. What makes you look forward to Little Rock?

family, friends, milder winter, living in Hog country, and good Bar B Que. and of course mosquitoes and water bugs...LOL!!

Pins and Needles

Well, we are back to Columbus. The interview went well, but no promises. They have other candidates.

We have to wait (possibly until next week) and I'm not good at it!!

We're also looking at options, but a month after match is not a good time to change careers. Still, Josh and I feel at peace-concerned, but at peace.

I'm glad to know I have renewed my teaching certificate. I'm glad to know Josh feels very strongly about supporting our family. I'm glad he is employed through June. Family has already said we can stay with them if things get tough.

All in all, there are far far worse things then being educated in the richest country in the world. We'll be fine even if it is not ideal.

Still, hoping for the best!! (and to be honest that would mean: Josh employed, and our own place!!)

I'm a grouch.

If you want to read a happy post.

Stop now.

I am an official grouch. Really, I need a badge to warn people.

First, I blame my monthly feminine proof.

I also blame Josh's mean co-workers. Where nothing is ever good enough. Except perfection. And that is not possible. Even if you give 12 hours of your day off. So, I'm not real pleased with residency at present.

I also blame children in hospitals. Not that it is their fault, but it is just stressful. My grand-niece will be having heart surgery this Wednesday. Things have been really tough on my nephew and everyone involved. She will need a second surgery in a month or so after this first one. She is still on a vent and she is 6 weeks old.

The car needs to go to the shop-AGAIN. time number 3. They have "never seen this problem". Funny, the guy at the sewing machine repair shop told me today,

"I have never seen this problem." (the reverse button is stuck)

Seems like my problems are unique.

I'm working on my typical stress helps, gratitude lists, working out, chocolate, not much is helping.....

one.day.at.a.time.

an Ivan Update

For those of you who follow my blog and have been worried about Ivan (as I have)-I want you to know we have great news!!

He has gone over 10 days without symptoms, and it is believed that the virus just took longer than usual to leave his hip. So, no bone scan is indicated right now. Of course I'll keep watching him.

Josh gave him a nice blessing which sounded very positive. And many prayers have been offered. His name was also on the temple prayer roll.

Thanks everyone!

relax, Lara.

Time to try and relax and enjoy the holidays. Ivan is doing fine with random knee pain episodes. I'm determined to try and video the next one-that way I can show a physician. Then again, I'm hoping he won't have a next one.

Bone scan won't be until the 7th because of holidays. That is okay. Patience.

We'll go forward with plans and look forward to getting some answers later.

First, dinners need planned, clothes folded, kids loved, trips taken, marriages made, and a new niece to meet. In short, I need to get out of my funk and have some fun!

Merry Christmas, and thanks for all of your comments. I'm thankful for you!

ps. I'm eating sugar. It IS the week of Christmas ya know!!

Low-Key to this Sucks!

Remember my previous post about a low-key Christmas and how I kept putting,

"Hmmm."

Life has taught me when you get an all is well period-life will whop you up the side of the head!

So it is again-and this particular whop sucks.

Sorry, (I know you hate that word mom). But it is so true.

Ivan was diagnosed with a viral infection in his hip. It was supposed to clear up within a few days-possibly a little longer-but max week to two weeks-it has been 17-18 days.

AND-I thought he was doing better, although when I'm honest, he had some minor aches and pains 4 or 5 days ago and I gave him Motrin.

Then-last night he has another episode of extreme knee pain-this pain wakes him up (he never wakes up). This is a huge concern. Still no other symptoms, injury, fever, etc.

This could (though I am trying my best not to panic) be more serious.

Dr. appointment today yielded: Bone Scan.

Then we'll know more.

I should get a call tomorrow for a time, but I'm not sure how soon this will happen with the holidays.

So much for a low-key holiday. I'm a basket case. Now I'm juggling getting the things done like our dinner and presents with appointments and the wedding trip to Dallas on the 29th and a room full of laundry, and kids who don't have school-which means I need extra patience.

Prayers are welcome for me and Josh. We are both concerned about our little boy.

Mom, I can't walk.

Not exactly what you want to hear first thing in the morning. I had no idea what was going on with Ivan. (Of course it was Ivan-it is ALWAYS Ivan when it comes to medical problems).
Symptoms:
Leg pain, knee pain, couldn't walk
NO
fever.recent illness. injury.swelling.redness. bone protrusion. etc.

What the heck?

I worried all day, finally took him to urgent care since the pediatrician couldn't do an x-ray anyway. (and though a little hysterical inside thinking that maybe that cancer did get away and show up in his bone somehow....) I actually held it together pretty well.

Turns out, I guess he has a viral infection in his hip, that is sending referred pain to the knee. It should clear up on its own over the next several days.
If not, we will worry again.
For now, all is well.
Phew!

ps a hundred thank you's to Jimett for watching my other two boys tonight!

For better or worse...

So ya know when you get married and you think life will be nothing but bliss, romantic dinners, and etc.
And then--we realize, "oh, I married a person.." "Oh, I'm just a person." And though life is good and we love each other so much...

Life happens: for better or worse.

Lately, I'm personally feeling for the worse.
**I tried some new medicine and gained 15 lbs in about 2 months.
**The Mazda broke down today. (530 dollars)
**The new van is acting up-seriously annoying
**We got Ivan's MRI bill-over 700 with insurance (we get these 2X a year, but yuck!)
**A student loan that is supposed to be deferred is slipping through the cracks and it always scares me to see that we owe so much money when we don't have it-and it is a paper trail nightmare.
**Ivan's teacher has recommended therapy again. I just knew we weren't past this-but golly gee-I was hoping..
** Josh's schedule sucks!

Okay, am I done? I don't know, but I'll stop for now.

I know things will get better, they always do...after all, this is for better or worse..

With Thankful Heart

I'm happy to report that Ivan's MRI today looked "normal". Normal, by the way, is a beautiful word. I always get nervous when he has these six month pictures done--wondering maybe, just maybe, that ugly tumor is starting up again--just one little cell got away...

So, it is always a great relief to hear that he's okay. We'll do this again in April. And October. Then maybe just in Octobers. I hope. I worry and worry and buy him special treats, and get movies, and wash his blanky, and pray. Oh, and worry (did I mention that?)

In addition to that, I took Orlando to his field trip. I made him a wonderful sack lunch, got him all excited, made sure he was dressed for the pumpkin patch and then took him to school at 8 when he usually goes in the afternoon....only to find out it is next week.

How embarrassing.

I blame it on stress. Somehow I got the MRI and the field trip on the same date in my head....

Sheesh, I thought Lando might make it to 4th or 5th grade before I started embarrassing him, I guess not!

Well, I'm thankful for my boys even if they may struggle with giving thanks for this scatter brained-worry-wart of a mom.

He continues to teach me. . .

Today I took Ivan in for his Neuro check up.  He had an MRI Monday.  I'm so happy to report no signs of cancer at this time and things look good.  Of course, I am always nervous -no matter that statistics for his type of cancer are on our side.  I've also thought a lot about my little Ivan this week.  He teaches me so much.  

Ivan was born with a love of sports.  He played more basketball in our living room by age 2 then most people do in their lives!  So, when his coordination slowed down I knew something was wrong.  Eventually--we got the diagnosis.  A golf ball tumor.  For a few days we didn't know what kind.  We didn't know if he'd be with us or if for how long.  With Josh in medical school, friends tapped into records and did some "searching".  They tried to tell me it should be okay.  I don't think I heard them clearly.  It was too hard to believe anything when something so unbelievable was happening.

Surgery was rough.  And they had to go back in later.  It wasn't surgery itself that caused us so much grief though---it was the effects of surgery.  My little guy couldn't sit up, walk, run, or shoot hoop!

He really worked hard while on the rehab unit for two weeks and progress was made.  Still, I took him home unable to walk without lots of support.  He continued full time therapy for several months.

Ivan wore a helmet to help keep the bumps and bruises to a minimum. (He also sported my sandals occasionally!)

Here is Ivan at age four.  I love this shot because you can clearly see the scrapes and bumps that continue to be part of his life.  In fact, today our doctor said to continue to expect that.   But, what did you see first?  It was the smile wasn't it?  Yes, Ivan continues to teach me.  He has the gift of resiliency.  He will go and go and go.  He will try and try and try.  He will fall.  He will hurt, and he will try again.  Now, of course he's not perfect and I'm not trying to give him sainthood or anything.  He also tries my patience and tries and tries to get out of bedtime!  But, my little Ivan is an example to me.  He helps me go when I don't want to.  He also often says, "it's okay mom-sometimes it doesn't work out"  and then "maybe next time".  I think that is pretty good thinking for such a young kid.  I am thankful to have my Ivan in my life.

Picture This!

There is no visual with this post.  First, I think we lost the camera somewhere on the Oklahoma trip and second, I'm not looking at it right now.  That's right.  I'm not looking!!!  What is it?

Well picture this:

Leftover boxes found while cleaning out the laundry room = lots of fun for some little boys.  They built castles and forts, etc.  Then when I came back down to the basement, the fort was larger.  How?  They found MORE boxes of course.  But not just any boxes.  The two boxes of china that I have not unpacked since moving to Ohio.  I really don't have a spot for the china here, so I thought leaving it boxed (and safe away in the laundry room) was the best option.  But the boxes were noticed on "clean the laundry room day" and the boys remembered.  These boxes just happen to have been on the bottom making a great foundation for other boxes, blankets, and boys weighing up to 48 pounds.  Then they jump.  And they play fight.

So at least for now,  I'm not looking.  No visual.  Not opening.  I just don't want to know.  

Before this sounds too dramatic, you should know my China was bought at a flea market and given to me by my mom one year as a Christmas gift. It is not super duper sentimental or super duper expensive, but it is a little sentimental and a little expensive and really beautiful (this great light blue and silver)  and it is my china!

Grant me patience!

Proud to be an Okie

Oklahoma.  Mostly flat.  Mostly dirt.  Some pretty hills and lakes here and there, but really there isn't too much about Oklahoma that I ever found of interest growing up there.  I was born in El Reno outside of Oklahoma City.  I lived in Durant for a short time in 6th grade and in Jay for 7-9th grades. I had friends named Echo, Bear, Feather, Youngblood, Wolf, etc in junior high and the pow wow with fry bread was amazing every year. Still, going back for grandma's funeral has in some way that I can't quite explain made me proud to be an Okie.  

Well, okay I'll try and explain it!  First, my mom in an Okie.  I mean Okie.  Born and raised (Rocky and Tulsa). She has the accent (but she can turn it on and off pretty well).  She was born there, raised there, moved away, but of course has come back.  Currently she is in Wagoner, OK.  But not too long ago she was living in Muskogee making her a true Okie from Muskogee!  She can cook like an Okie.  Beans, corn bread, real cream and  real butter, biscuits.  And she can make a meal from nothing.  Nothing.  I remember no food in the cabinet to eat and later-a full meal for a family of six.  I don't know.  She's just got it.   Not to mention she is a die hard Sooner fan. (My dad by the way, was in the OU Marching Band). My mom and I recently went window shopping in downtown Tahlequah and enjoyed seeing Indian art, turquoise, dresses, feathers, instruments, etc.  I should also note that my mom has remarried and her husband is Cherokee. She also has a broach that is the Oklahoma seal! 

Then there is my grandma.  Also born and raised in Oklahoma.  She lived in Tahlequah, OK. Tahlequah is the Cherokee Nation Capital and has some really interesting places in it.  My grandma always donated to the Cherokee Children's Services.  She also collected beautiful Indian art and yes, there was Cherokee music at the funeral. 

My sister Holly is an Okie as well.  She is married to a Keetoowah.  They are a branch of Cherokee with some pretty strict rules about getting in the tribe.  Holly and Ben actually live on land given Ben's family years ago by the government when the tribes walked out there.  Ben and some of his family will also be extras in a PBS special on the Trail of Tears to come out in April. Here is the link if you are interested.  I've been out to their place and it is just Indian land with a few modest homes.  Interesting history.  They still get health care through the Indian Health Services.  

But I think the real endearing thing to me was sitting around after grandmas funeral and hearing my great aunt talk about her mom, my great grandmother-Laudie Lorraine Bachlor.  She was born the year Oklahoma became a state.   I heard some good stories.  Like this one:  Granny got in to it with her parents when she was 17 or 18 about something (no one knows) and her parents told her to leave.  So she took one bag and started walking.  This is the 1920s.  She had no where to go.  A fellow drives up and it is a guy who helped paint their house a few months back.  I guess she had written him a letter after he left their home.  After finding out the situation he said, "well get in and we'll go get married."  So they did.

I wish I could say it was happy ever after, but. .

He had lots of younger siblings and a mom with terrible scoliosis so she took care of his family for years.  Later she had her own three children (one of which shared this story with me, one my grandma who we had just buried, and then a son who lives in New Mexico now).  Oh ya, and he was an alcoholic.  

I also heard about the dust bowl.  I just can't imagine living through something like that.  Granny had to actually put cloth over her face so that she could breathe.  Can you imagine?  

My mom lived with Granny when she was a child and she asked her, "Granny how did you survive all that?"  According to mom, Granny just:  Paused.  Sighed.  And replied, "we just never left.  We just never left."   I highly recommend this documentary.  

So, these are my roots.  

Generations of women from Oklahoma.  Driving back to Ohio after hearing all the stories of hand washing clothes, selling corn, alcoholic husbands, farms that didn't produce, panties from flour sacks, seeing hand made quilts and dresses, looking at fine needle work, seeing the Indian bead work, hearing Amazing Grace in Cherokee, and yes driving along seeing flat dirt. . . well I just got this sense of pride for these hard working people in the heart of this country I love.

Life and Death

So the same day I am celebrating Ivan's life and his big 4th birthday--my grandma Smith at age 83 passes away.  This picture was taken just six weeks ago and I am SO glad we went to see her on our way to Arkansas.  This was her first time to meet Ammon and only her 2nd with Ivan.  I was happy to see that she keeps pictures and cards I send her near her chair.  We are working out details on getting to Oklahoma for the funeral.  Even though she has lived in Missouri for several years,  she will be buried next to Grandpa in Tahlequah, OK.  I now have no adults other than my mom in my direct line.  Having lost my dad and all other grandparents.  It seems a bit lonely.  I guess with time, the generations will flow the other direction and I'll become the grandma and great grandma.

I think she felt bad she couldn't offer us anything.  But she offered us her Christmas fudge (notice the red tin) and my boys ate every bit of it!  I'll miss knowing Grandma Hettie Louise Smith is there.  I may blog later about the funeral.  I expect it to be interesting knowing this side of the family and all of our varied religions, ideologies, and injured feelings.  Still, I'm hoping for a good experience.  I've heard there will be feathers and balloons?!  Nope, I'm not kidding!

Why is it. . .

That after planning a family night to swim and getting to the gym, we didn't have the swim bag-EVERYONE had wanted to carry? (no swim night after all).

That after making casserole, Lando draws a picture (we have a chalkboard in the kitchen) of a rectangle with a large red X over it and states, "Mom this is your food and the X means, NO! NO! NO!?"

That Ivan threw a plush toy basketball hard enough to break one of my favorite picture frames into 100 pieces?

That for the first time in months I went to paint my nails with my new OPI polish and Ammon spilled it on white clothes? (He was two stories away when I started.)

That when we were driving home the van started smoking on us?

That the newly vacuumed floor was the best place to throw Ritz crackers around?

That Ammon poops in the middle of spinning class?
That my friends kid who I have for a short time poops while here with no diaper on?

That my zipper in my skirt was stuck so badly I barely had time to get my clothes changed for the Temple session?!

That I looked in several mirrors while getting my eyebrows waxed but not until I got home did I notice the spinach between my teeth? (seriously!)

That the two pounds I thought I lost are both back stronger and possibly weighing more than they did just last week? (Yes, the very same two pounds!)

That after being snowy for weeks, the snow melts the day before I actually had plans to go sledding?

That when sending out an invitation (to the entire ward) I forgot to put the date on it!?

That after working to make a beautiful bread wreath for a baby shower Josh is so late getting home that it is cold and not nearly as good? I was almost an hour late. Ugh!

That Ivan is not as well potty-trained this week as last month?

Does anyone know? WHY? Why-why-why? Just thought I'd ask.
We are fine, but these little things are driving me up a wall! Oh and yes, these all happened this last week.

What a Mess!

I may have made the biggest mess of my life today. The irony was I was trying to clean my house!! I put old food down the disposal and well, the pipes clogged up with spaghetti (no, I will not do this again!) Anyway, when I felt water on my foot, I knew it was bad. I had to take everything out from under the sink and there were small chunks of old food thrown all over everything!!! So gross!! It was basically cleaning up a bunch of vomit.(Chinese and Italian). Sorry for the visual, but just so you know what I was going through. I did take the pipes apart myself. That was kind of interesting as I've never done any plumbing before...ah the things you learn to do while your hubby works....
No, I didn't take pictures, it was just too yucky and my hands were wet. But, I do have pictures of another mess from a few weeks ago. This time it had been an especially trying day, so I went with a frozen pizza. I should have paid closer attention, because here is what I saw when I went to take out the pizza:




So what are you going to do???
Weight Watchers or Not, this was the only answer:

Stephen B. Blaylock

1975-2008

Published Thursday, December 18, 2008

Funeral for Stephen B. Blaylock, 33, of Decatur will be at 10:30 a.m. Thursday, Dec. 18, at the Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints with Bishop Joey Harrison officiating. Burial will be at Bethel Cemetery following the service. Visitation was to be from 6 to 8 p.m. Wednesday at Coker-Hawkins Funeral Home.

Blaylock died Monday, Dec. 15, 2008, in Decatur.  Born May 1, 1975, in Bowie to Elsie Travis and Brenda Jean (Bradford) Blaylock, he married Laura Lee Bigley April 23, 1994, in White Settlement. He was a registered respiratory therapist for Wise Regional Health System for eight years and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints in Decatur. He is survived by his wife; sons, Brevon, Christian, Lane and Cason Blaylock; daughter, Miranda Lee Blaylock; his father of Justin; his mother, Brenda Garvin of Alvord; brothers, Chad and Brad Blaylock of Justin; grandmother, Betty Bradford of Decatur; great-grandmother, Arlie Weadur; and numerous nieces and nephews.  Pallbearers are T.M. Bigley, Babe Bigley, Gary Bigley, Cecil Bentley, Tim Warren and Billy Garvin.

Monday's News

(Stephen Blaylock pictured above.)

Monday my sister, Sara, called.  As soon as I said, "Hi.  What's up?"  She was in tears.  She then told me that her brother in law had been killed that morning on his way to work.  He was driving in his lane, someone crossed over and hit him head-on.  He left his wife, Laura, and their five children.  I have met this family a few times, but obviously don't have the relationship my sister does with them.  Still, news of this kind is hard to swallow.  The irony was that their oldest son turned 16 on Monday as well.  You can imagine (or at least try) the extra painfulness that brings.  They youngest child is five.  I have cried several times on their behalf and I think human nature leads most people through a series of thoughts.

1. why

2. how, again?

3. No.

4. why

5. how again exactly?

6. no

7. I'm so glad it wasn't my spouse,parent,child,etc

8. survival guilt for having above thought(s)

9. help, help, help!!  Is there anything, anything I can do?

So, as I went through this I really wanted to do something.  I offered some money and a card, but I wanted to be there, to make food, clean their house, something.  So I prayed.  I then got the sweetest feeling that things were being taken care of.  And good thing since I'm in Ohio and they are in Texas, so not very plausable for me to be there.  

I talked again to Sara that night.  Here is what she shared:

They could hardly get the refrigerator closed it was busting with food.  Relief Society sisters had been scrubbing the house clean.  2 Buckets of chicken, 5 Pizzas were still out.  Large container of tea (who cares we don't drink it?  it's the thought that makes me teary eyed).  Toilet paper, toothpaste, more food, etc etc etc.  As she shared this with me I remembered the peace I had felt earlier and it made me so thankful. Thankful for good people everywhere.  People that love and serve that are members of my faith (the R.S. sisters) and those not (iced-tea).  I love them all.  I'll continue to pray for this extended family member, and if you are inclined, please join me.  The funeral is tomorrow.