Thursday, December 4, 2008

Just a Shirt?

Certain dates mean things to certain people.  Certain material things mean much to people due to their sentimental value.  Such it is with me.
Today is December 4th.  That is the day my daddy died.(1997) And this is a picture of a shirt.  The last gift he gave me.  
I remember almost everything of that day.  It was an unexpected death and very difficult for all of us.  My sister and I lived together as roomates in Fayetteville.  I remember the details of the 30 minute drive to Siloam Springs.  I remember I was speeding and I had the speech prepared for the cop if he pulled us over.  I remember I didn't drive fast enough.
We didn't say bye.  Saying bye is important.  That part is still hard.

But, I do have lots of good memories.  Not many pictures though.  My family didn't take many pictures.  In their defense, this was before pictures became so easy to take with digital and all.  Anyway, I have one of me and dad when I was turning 4 (I think).  The other is of me and dad walking, I am wearing this shirt.  He had just given it to me.  It is a nice cotton and  a Pantagonia- a very pricey brand.  I don't know why or how he afforded to buy it.  That was dad though, buying something to spoil us and giving it to us for no reason at all.  Well, I can't say that this is my favorite-super-stylish-slimming-my-color-shirt.  
But it is my favorite. 
It is super.  
It was in dad style.  
It is not slimming!
and the color--well I think of it as my personal "coat of many colors".  Just as in the Bible, given from a loving parent to a beloved child.  

I don't part with it.  I've moved 7 times.  I've changed sizes probably more than that.  This shirt has missed all the good will donation bags, and garage sale piles, it always makes the cut.  
When do I wear it?  Well, this may sound silly to some, but I wear it when I want to remember my dad.  I touch it, and I know he touched it and hugged me while I had it on.  And, I wear it on Christmas morning.  Cute matching pajamas would be fun; but my preference is a large colorful shirt.  I just like remembering sometimes.

I love you daddy!  
Writing this nice and warm in a certain shirt,
Lara

3 comments:

Giggles said...

I can understand that. The shirt is a lembrança, a wonderful physical memory of your dad. We all have valuable lembranças like that.

Trish said...

Lara, You should read the new book by Glenn Beck called, The Christmas Sweater. I think you would find this story very similar to yours.

Lizzie said...

I cried as I read your blog last night, are you surprised?! As you know I haven't lost a parent yet, and I can't even imagine the void it will create when it does happen! Thank goodness we will see them again, and the time apart will be as though we were apart for just a moment.

By the way, I love your "write" perspectives..you are such a clever writer!